The Importance of Collaborative Meaning Making with Suicidal Intensity
September in National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. This month is dedicated to talking about a topic and crisis that many shy away from, even clinicians. Much more work is needed to break the stigma surrounding suicide. Encouraging open conversations is paramount.
The Statistics are Sobering
According the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. Suicide is also the second leading cause of death among youth and young adults ages 15-34. Males are four times as likely to die by suicide than females. Firearms are the most common method of death by suicide and account for more than half of suicide deaths.
A New Way to Talk about Suicide
We must change our language around suicide. Suicidal intensity instead of suicidal ideation or suicidality. This creates a more comprehensive view that suicidal feelings are often experienced as a surge, pull, or unbearable urgency. This gives us the space to be curious, less pathologizing, and more personal. This vernacular helps create a more dynamic and introspective perspective of suicide.
Side by Side Care
Though the first thing you may think of or feel when suicide is mentioned may be fear or danger. There is often a long story behind the person presenting with suicidal intensity. Always lead with curiosity. Get your own support and take care of your own mental health so you can be fully present for the person who thinks suicide is the option.
Ask Thought Provoking Questions
Starting the conversation in an open ended way with “help me understand” decreases stigma, judgment, and creates an open environment to share. Other questions to ask that create collaborative meaning making:
“When do you see the intensity spiking?”
“What problem is suicide trying to solve?”
“What helps you stay alive, even for a short period of time?”
“What else may I be missing? I want to understand what’s driving this.”
In creating a plan to cling to hope and choose to live, it is important to ask about identity, culture, family, faith, and community.
Create Hope and Distance to Avert the Crisis
In the height of suicidal intensity, people are often stuck in a negative loop and in a fixed mindset. They often feel very alone. You can assure them that they still have competence and autonomy in their lives. They are capable of learning new things through the surge. It is also important to explore the ambivalence they may be feeling while communicating your partnership with them in continuing to live.
Thank the person for entrusting you with their suicidal intensity. Stay steady and communicate again that you are on their team. In creating a plan, find tools they can use even if they are evacuating a burning building. Create distance from things they may use to harm themselves when the suicidal intensity spikes.
Resources
Virtual Hope Box is a free app created to help those presenting with suicidal intensity. The app allows you to upload music, pictures, voice recordings, and inspirational quotes. Anything that helps you to create positive meaning and connection in your life. It also provides positive activity planning, distraction tools, and interactive relaxation exercises such as guided imagery, muscle relaxation, and controlled breathing.
Crisis line: In the U.S. Call or Text 988
If you are experiencing suicidal intensity or supporting someone who is, help is available. Many of the things we have been taught about suicide may evoke fear, judgment, or helplessness. Therapy with a depression therapist can help you understand what is contributing to your suicidal intensity. This can be the first step toward reconnecting with yourself. If you are struggling, therapy with Rebecca A. Berg, MFT in Brea can provide the space to find hope again and create a life worth living.