Are you struggling to communicate with your teen?
- Do you feel like you are doing everything wrong according to your teen?
- Are you questioning your parenting skills?
- Are you exhausted by the second guessing and trying to interpret your adolescent’s current mood?
- Has your family been impacted by a major life change?
Parenting a teen can be lonely
Adolescence is a time of uncertainty. If you have a teen under your roof, you know this only too well. However, the impact it has on your self-confidence as a parent cannot be overstated. You find yourself questioning every interaction with your teen, every decision you make. Even if you know you have their best interests at heart, the eye rolls, scoffs, sarcastic comments, and slammed doors are not for the faint of heart.
Often you are at the height of demand in your own midlife. The peak responsibility in your career, worries about aging parents, and then shifting hormones in your own body. You may have information coming at you from a plethora of directions, and it can be so hard to navigate. To add to this, you have parented and worked through a pandemic. You may wonder if your teen will heal from the deficits they incurred academically and socially.
Although you may feel confident and successful vocationally, you may feel like you are failing when it comes to your relationship with your teen. You wait for their spontaneous hug or I love you to no avail. With one earbud in and constant scrolling on their phone, you wonder if this is what is to become on your relationship now.
All you want is to feel connected to your teen. With the help of therapy, you can have a better understanding of the unique needs of your teen and your unique needs as their parent.
Have any questions? Send me a message!
Good luck everybody!
“Oh, you have a teenager now. Good luck!” I am sure you have heard this phrase from a trusted friend, relative, or maybe even a stranger. It is not unlike grocery shopping with several kids under the age of 5. The sentiment behind the comments is pretty much the same. “You have your hands full!”
Parenting a teen and parenting a toddler have many similarities. Teens and toddlers both are exerting their independence, have rapidly growing bodies, need lots of sleep, and have poor emotion regulation. The only difference is you can’t throw your teen over your shoulder when they are throwing a fit and time outs just aren’t as effective.
So, what is a parent of a teen to do? Besides lie awake at night in constant panic and worry? You need a different strategy. If you are an attuned parent, you are on this emotional rollercoaster with them. But, you don’t have to suffer in silence. You also don’t have to be the constant emotional trash can.
Both parenting and adolescence has changed
There is a wide gap between adolescence now and your teenage years. Most likely you had an analog childhood with a digital adulthood. You may have felt like you raised yourself, i.e.—be home when the street lights come on vs. tracking your teen on the Life360 app and drinking out of the hose vs. current Owalas or Stanleys. Because of that, parents have taken their own childhood pain of figuring it all out on their own to being ever present for their children.
But, we tend to overcorrect. There is more pressure on teens to be career and college oriented earlier and earlier. They are overcommitted and anxious. They worry their worst moments will be documented in perpetuity on social media. Teens are also forgoing dating, risk taking, hanging out in real life all in service of padding their college apps.
It may be really difficult to get a good gauge on what is your most pressing parenting concern. It is so easy to worry about all the things. Luckily, a supportive therapeutic environment can give you direction and help you feel less alone.
Shame proof parenting
No judgement, no five point lists on how to be a better parent to your teen. only a welcoming compassionate guide to help you navigate these stressful years. Therapy can be the place to vent, air your fears, pour out your feelings, and fall apart in a safe space. It is often the only place that can be yours alone. You take the lead. The world of parenting teens is full of pressure and demands, counseling can provide a respite.
The goal is to help you gain more confidence, take risks with your teen, and be better equipped to repair when things fall apart. Through therapy, you will hopefully like yourself more as both an individual and a parent. This should alleviate the shame you may be experiencing and give you the reassurance you are seeking.
Figuring out your own life story
As our teenagers can evoke visceral reactions from us, it is so important as parents to know the pain of old wounds behind our knee jerk reactions. Parents are people with stories too, even if your teen doesn’t want to hear it. In our work together, we will make sense of your life story, especially that turbulent time in adolescence. This will help you to be a more calm less reactive parent. It will also enable you to sort out what is being activated in you versus what are your teen’s actual struggles
Why choose me?
I have been working with teens and parents of teens for over 25 years and have dealt with a wide variety of issues. This has made me acutely aware and sensitive to the storm and stress of adolescents and their parents. As a mother to two teenagers, I am aware of the exhaustion, pressure, demands, and constant questioning. My own therapy has been invaluable to help me navigate parenting during the teen years.
I work from a depth perspective incorporating attachment theory, object relations, and psychodynamic therapy. In addition, I am a certified grief educator and certified in dialectical behavior therapy. Also, I have taken extensive training on interpersonal neurobiology and temperament.
Common questions about therapy for teen parents...
You can feel confident again parenting your teen
If parenting feels hard and heavy, I am here to be a sounding board and help you find relief. If you’re ready to take that first step, even if it feels uncertain, I invite you to reach out.
Together we can move from surviving parenting the teen years to thriving.
