Pet Loss: How to Cope After You Lose Your Best Friend
Pets are family members. They bring us so much joy! The huffing and excitement of our dogs’ anticipation of going for their walk, the cuddles with the cat on the couch after a long day, or the softness of their gaze as they lay their heads on our laps–all of it is incorporated into our daily lives. We care and take care of them but they also take care of us.
Losing a pet can be one of the most difficult experiences
We know our pets have much shorter lives than our own. But that doesn’t prepare us for the loss. And it’s not just the loss. It’s caring for them when they are sick, making extremely difficult decisions about their quality of life, vet visits, and seeking advice from friends and family. And we do all of this for a living being who cannot speak our language and have evolved to hide their pain. It can be excruciating!
The Quiet
After the death, there is often too much quiet. Too much empty space, too much stillness. Our hearts are broken. It may feel like we cannot continue without them. We aren’t sure what to do or how to be without them. We may still walk into a room and expect to find them lying on the floor sleeping or alert and ready to greet us for the day.
I still miss hearing my first Bernese Mountain Dog (the one I had before my kids, the one who was my first baby, the one that was just mine) groan, roll over, and slam into the plantation shutters next to my bed each night. It feels like yesterday, but she has been gone for 13 years. I’ve had 4 dogs since her and too many cats to count but there will never be another one just like her in that exact same chapter of my life.
Our best friends are irreplaceable
Whether your best friend is a dog, cat, hamster, guinea pig, horse, or something in between, they can never be replaced. Each pet is unique and different just as each person has their own personality, quirks, and preferences. You have loved them with your whole heart and now your love has no place to go.
You will find who you can share your grief and loss with and those you cannot. Not everyone will understand and some will feel as if “it’s just an animal. What’s the big deal?” But, you know it is a very big deal, indeed. The very fabric of your life has changed in an instant.
Life does continue
The key to any kind of grief or loss is to continue living your life in a way that is honoring to the one you have lost. This is where we find meaning in the loss. But, this happens slowly and takes time. We need closure, time to mourn, time to weep, time to be angry. All feelings are welcome in grief.
Find your people who you can share the story of your beloved pet. Talk about their lives, share funny stories, even the things that annoyed you. This keeps their memory alive. Even though their physical presence is gone and your arms may be empty, the relationship we had with our pets lives on in our minds.
If you are struggling in the midst of losing your beloved best friend, there is help available. A sacred space where you can talk freely and let the tears flow is waiting for you. We can help you navigate your life after pet loss. Pet Bereavement counseling can help you find meaning in the loss. Reach out today.