Recognizing Warning Signs and How to Help When Your Teen is Suicidal
Suicidality may appear without warning. Or, perhaps, your teen has been depressed for quite some time or experienced a traumatic event. In that case, their desire to die may come as no surprise. No matter the circumstances or the cause, being a parent to a suicidal teen is enough to take your breath away. Even the most adept, in tune, and loving parent may feel terrified and helpless.
Warning Signs of Suicide
Let’s first examine the warning signs of suicide. Depression, loneliness, isolation, and substance use all can be risk factors for suicidal feelings. There are many other factors, as well, such as:
Loss of interest in usual fun activities or hobbies
Pulling away from friends and family
Feelings of boredom and trouble concentrating
Changes in eating and sleeping patterns
Running away
Acting out or excessive risk taking
Talking about death and dying
Changes in physical grooming behaviors
No response to praise
Deep feelings of worthlessness
Increase in physical complaints such as headaches and stomaches
Feelings of wanting to die
Teens are Especially At Risk
You may have read the above list and thought but my teen exhibits some or a few of these behaviors. Should I be worried or concerned? We, as parents of teens do need to be aware of the statistics. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for pre-teens, adolescents, and young adults.
Teens’ moods can shift like the wind, and they also face intense social pressure. Their brains are still developing, and due to that, they tend to act more impulsively. All of these factors put them more at risk. However, we are looking for marked changes or persistent continual feelings of wanting to die and no longer wanting to live.
Especially look for signs of plans to die by suicide. These can include:
Expressing bizarre thoughts
Giving away or throwing away favorite possessions or belongings
Becoming suddenly cheerful after a period of depression
Actively saying they are going to or want to kill themselves
Using language like “I won’t be a problem much longer” or “If anything happens to me . . .”
Writing suicide notes
Self-Harm
One quick note about self-harm. Sef-harm is different than suicidality. Self-harm is a maladaptive coping mechanism to rid oneself of emotional pain. It often does not accompany a wish to die. However, self-harm and suicidality can overlap, and those who engage in self-harm are at an increased risk for suicidal behavior over time.
Strategic Actions You Can Take
Always take your teen’s thoughts of suicide, talk about wanting to die, or expressions of no longer wanting to live very seriously. Talk openly about their thoughts, behaviors, or plans. Stay with them and offer comfort and support. Listen attentively and express concern. Also, pay attention to what this activates in you as their parent. Be calm and steady and assure your teen that you will get through this together.
In addition, make sure that your home environment is safe. Lock up any deadly weapons, knives, sharp objects, medications, and substances such as alcohol. It is okay to sleep on your teen’s bedroom floor or allow them to sleep in your room until the suicidal intensity passes. More than anything you want them to know that they are not alone and are a valuable, integral part of your family.
Also, if your teen is suicidal, reach out to a mental health professional. Get support from your teen’s school. And know that the Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24/7 by calling or texting 988.
Recognize That You Need Support Too
The right counselor who specializes in working with teen parents can assist you in navigating this crisis by providing you with support and reassurance. Raising teenagers is difficult enough on the best of days. But, when you have a teen who does not want to live, you need additional support. As parents, we rush into crisis aversion mode and often forget to factor into our own needs. Tending to your own needs helps you be a more available and steady parent to your teen.