8 Phases in Grief Therapy
You may be wondering if grief therapy is for you. How will it help? Is therapy really worth the time and investment? The better question is what is the cost of NOT getting the help you need. It’s true, there is no bringing your loved one back. The trouble is you are still living and you deserve to thrive in the life you have left to lead. This is the roadmap you need to go from grieving fully to living fully.
Permission to Live Again
Grief is all consuming and all encompassing. If you have lost someone or something of precious value, you don’t need me to tell you that. But, we often don’t know how to move forward under the weight and fog of grief. You can take up space, ask for the things you need, and reacquaint yourself with joy. Together we can see what is needed to reclaim your life.
Hidden Architecture of Grief
Our bodies, minds, and relationships reorganize around profound loss and change. Our nervous systems, memory, and environment frequently collide with the absence. In this phase, we will discover the beliefs you hold around loss and gently confront those. Beliefs aren’t facts even though they seem to be. We will help you understand the importance of both/and thinking and replace the either/or mentality.
The Weight We Carry
In this phase, we respectfully confront the guilt, shame, and regret you are carrying. There are promises you have made in your childhood to either stay safe or stay small. In order to keep these old promises, you may be engaging in self-sabotage. These beliefs may be inhibiting you from living fully. They were initially protective in nature so there is no shame in the purpose they served. But, life looks different now, and it may be time to release these old beliefs.
Surrending the Struggle
We gently address your new reality and help you stop fighting against it. Acceptance can be a momentary or daily occurrence. Also, there is often misaligned commitment where your time, energy, or actions are dedicated to something or someone that no longer matches your core values or goals. This often leads to resentment, chronic exhaustion, and lack of purpose. We give you permission to embrace this next chapter of your life.
Forgiveness and Living the Love Forward
In this phase, we work together to help you forgive yourself and lay to rest the “what ifs.” If necessary, we also help you forgive the lost person and radiate light and love. Shadow work may come in this phase. Our shadows are everything we have learned to repress or hide to feel safe, loved, or accepted. These often are messages from childhood. We will explore your hidden fears, traumas, and repressed emotions. We bring all of these into your conscious awareness so you can accept them and achieve greater wholeness.
Meaning, Purpose, and Continuing Bonds
In this phase, we ask, “how do I carry meaning forward for me?” This looks different for every person because you are unique and your loss is unique to you. It may be a ritual, a reacquainting with an old or lost hobby or passion, or something totally new and risky. It’s important to incorporate and honor the love you felt for your lost loved one in your new daily life.
From Contraction to Expansion
Finally, we cannot stay still. We are evolving creatures. The unfortunate truth is if we are not expanding, we are contracting. In this phase, we will help you activate your vision for your life. Questions and curiosity are the answer. Harsh judgments and guilt have no place here. There is space yet to be filled with beauty and color.
You can reclaim your life after loss. As a grief therapist, I can help you understand your new identity and navigate the shifting roles you now play. We can pave the path left for discovery together. Reach out today.