Unwound: Gentle Mindfulness for an Anxious Nervous System
Trauma can leave a devastated path in its wake. If you have lived through trauma, you have most likely learned to dissociate, leave your body, disavow your emotions, and flee the current circumstance, if given the chance. These were all adaptive mechanisms that allowed you to escape a very painful situation. However, in trauma recovery, we want to stay present and teach our body and minds that it is safe. The threat is no longer immediate.
Mindfulness as a Practice
Mindfulness can help with this. It helps calm and regulate our nervous systems and increases distress tolerance while also increasing self-compassion. Mindfulness is hard! It takes much practice. The key is to start slowly and only do what you can tolerate. We want you to feel in control at all times, especially since trauma robs you of that sense of control. Using the acronym RAIN can help you remember the practice.
Recognize
Often trauma survivors are not aware of their bodies or their emotions. Sometimes fear is the most prevalent feeling and colors everything else. It might also be anger. Many times trauma survivors feel numb. Despite what many think, numb is still a feeling and gives us data about our experience.
This practice will feel foreign at first and may increase anxiety. Sit as long as you are able. Take stock of what is happening in your body. What parts of your body might be tight? Heavy? Lifeless? Name your physical sensation and your predominant emotion.
Allow
Allow the feeling to exist. Try your best not to judge, fix, or fight the feeling. My clients really struggle with this. Shame has been such a powerful companion that it can be incredibly difficult to claw your way out of its chains. Emotions are not good or bad. They just are. Remember this as you allow yourself to have your experience. Trauma tells you that you are not allowed this experience. It is okay. You are safe.
Investigate
Exploration with gentle curiosity is key for this next step. Notice the thoughts that come with your feeling and experience. Have you felt this before? What does it remind you of? Again, do a deeper dive into your physical sensations. Has anything changed in your body as you have sat with the emotion and allowed yourself to have this experience?
Nurture
Self-blame and powerlessness are often tied to traumatic experiences. By nurturing our inner child, we can give ourselves what we desperately needed and our caregivers could not. Offer yourself self-compassion and loving kindness. The part of you that feels most vulnerable needs comforting and gentleness not chastisement. You can end this mindfulness exercise with an ancient Buddhist practice which is designed to cultivate unconditional goodwill and compassion.
Metta (Loving-kindness) Prayer or Meditation
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be free of suffering
May I be filled with loving kindness and peace
After you learn to do this for yourself, you can also extend this to others substituting “I” with “you”.
Trauma is best healed in relationship with another
Treatment for trauma can help you better learn to identify and recognize your emotions. It can give you a better sense of control and release the shame. You can soothe your nervous system in the presence of another and learn to experience yourself and your past without judgment. Therapy can also calm the voices in your head and help you learn to relax without anxiety. You can learn to trust your own feelings and experiences. We can unwind the complexities of your traumatic past and enable you to find freedom together. Reach out today to see if therapy with a trauma therapist is right for you.