The Conundrum of Asking for Help


Image in the sand asking for help

Do you ever feel like you are standing in a vast space crying out for help and no one can hear you?  Or maybe you would prefer if no one actually did.  Or maybe it would be better to whisper or write it in sand so it can quickly be erased? That’s the funny thing about asking for help.  Sometimes when we really need to, we just can’t find the words to say or don’t even know what to ask for.  Or perhaps feel like there is no one to ask. Or if we were to ask, no one would listen.


There is often a sense of shame in asking for help, especially if we were raised in a family where you were told to figure it out, grin and bear it, buck up, or reminded how others had it worse.  There is no hierarchy in pain and suffering.  Pain is pain and it is meant to be listened to.  We are created with a warning system to stop and pay attention.  But, we often need help to slow down, not pass judgment, and truly listen to ourselves and our experience.

Societal Pressures

We live in a society where busyness, individualism, and self-sufficiency are prized.  When it comes to caring for ourselves and our mental health, that mindset can backfire pretty quickly.  We often feel timepoor and the act of making time to attend to our feelings and process our experiences fall last on our to-do list.  But, this radical act can actually free up so much more time and emotional space.  We start to understand ourselves and our surroundings in a whole new light and begin to understand what our needs actually are.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy can help so much with this because you don’t have to go it alone.  Creating a weekly space where you are in the spotlight and in control will feel awkward and uncomfortable at first.  It will be painful and scary at times, but it is also comforting, rewarding, awe inspiring, and empowering. We often need a guide to help point out the things we have been ignoring and help us reframe our thoughts and emotions about experiences we have had. The shame, guilt, worry, loneliness, sadness, anxiety we are feeling starts to melt away and light begins to shine through. Trust is created in a safe space where you can finally get the help you’ve been needing. You can be more assured of what your needs are and how to get them met so you can ask for help with confidence.

In Conclusion

Asking for help is often a complicated process.  We bring our past messages and experiences into how readily we can recognize when we need help. There is often shame involved in asking for help, and our society does not lend kindly to not being able to manage our lives on our own. Therapy can help in providing guidance and a safe space to explore all of our emotions and experience in a trusting objective relationship.

Ready to ask for help? 

If you are finally ready to ask for help, please don’t hesitate to reach out to start your therapy journey.